What happens when we are unable to meet someone else’s expectations of us? The idea of unconditional love is wonderful but perhaps as humans we are not capable of this. Do we always hold expectations about those in our lives? Do we then judge others if those expectations are not met? It makes me stop and ponder if I do this as well. If someone chooses to include me in their life, I feel honored. I really do not ask anything from them other than friendship and sharing time together. However, when I look at those people that I have distanced myself from I wonder if it was something I judged in them as not meeting my expectations. There are times when I feel like just shutting off from the world, just going into a cave with no human interaction. This feels safer actually than allowing the vulnerability and potential hurt that can come from being judged by others. Hurt, pain, sadness is a part of this human experience. At those low moments we take a deeper look at ourselves and sometimes ask where we failed. However, it isn’t always us that failed. Perhaps we did not meet an expectation that we didn’t even know was there. Sometimes the one holding the expectation does not even realize that the resources are not available to be able to meet those expectations. Things like pride can get in the way of letting others know that perhaps we are financially unable or otherwise incapable to do certain things. This can lead to the feeling of being “less than” and not enough. Confidence can be shaken and self-doubt take over. In a perfect world we are all the same, all equal. However, this is far from a perfect world. Competition and comparison run rampant. It is often said (and even by myself) that we are mirrors of each other. I’m not sure I believe that anymore. I’m still digging for the answer although the hurt makes the glass a little cloudy, but I am holding onto faith and believe that with time (and some window cleaner) it will become clearer.
We are told that the key to success lies in the mind. It is our gold mine and we can tap into anything we need to know if we are open to listening and learning. We have the ability to travel anywhere we want with just our mind, be successful, rule universes, anything we desire. Are these just “dreams” or are they reality on parallel dimensions? Think deliberately and with purpose about how this makes you feel. Do you resonate with it? Do you think it is just woo-woo mumbo jumbo? Ask your heart if there is any reality to it. Your heart will never lie to you but be open to the answer when you get it!
For so long man has thought that this is the only reality – what is before and around us, what we can see, touch, feel. The reality is that we really do not know, do we? Science is now affirming what metaphysics has been saying all along, that there are other dimensions besides 3D, that everything has energy, and on and on. Opening up our minds and inviting the thoughts to flow is scary for some but freeing for others. It is really a matter of perspective. Just as we can disagree about what tastes good and what is repulsive, there is no wrong or right. There just is and it is in that is-ness that we let in some light. The more light we let in, we can begin to follow it and open new doors, have new experiences, find the gold mine. I choose that. I’ll have more of that, please.
What is kindness? This is a question I will be answering to be considered as part of an organization focused on bringing more kindness into our world. As I first looked at the question, my reaction was “well, duh, everybody knows what it is.” I then paused to really consider that response. Does everyone really know what kindness is? If that is truly the case, then are we just choosing who to be kind to and when to do so? If we understand that speaking warmly to others instead of being critical and judgmental is part of being kind, why is there so much bitterness and bullying? When faced with these questions, we become perfect blamethrowers. It was our upbringing (or lack thereof), peer pressure, just my personality, rejection, and on and on the list could go of potential reasons to not be kind to others. What is really the issue here and how do we get back to a place where values and integrity matter? How many children need to suffer and become scarred adults before we realize the magnitude of the problem and that it really has a very simple solution?
Holding a door for someone is a sign of respect and an act of kindness. Smiling at others, making eye contact and acknowledging them is also an act of kindness. I could list many small random acts that can be done in the course of a day. Yes, these will make a difference to the recipient as well as to the giver. It creates a glow inside and that is where the change must come from. We can’t sit around and wait for someone else to do it. Speak to your neighbor, call your parents (and/or your children), turn off your cellphones and have a dinner conversation. Let’s take our world back one kind act at a time. Let’s give the children of today something real to emulate. Mister Rogers had it right when he said, “There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” What are you leaving? #IChooseKindness
Photo credit: Astrid Langedijk
You can reach the author at http://www.angelspeakers.com
In “fantasy” some things work like magic, such as “open sesame” in which this phrase opens up a hidden treasure. Is this really so farfetched an idea? If you believe in the Law of Attraction among other laws of the universe, you understand the power of the human mind in conceiving, believing and receiving. Unfortunately, many do not understand the inner workings which is where the power lies. To achieve the seemingly magical results, the treasure has to be visualized in the mind and then felt in the heart as if it is already real. Ali Baba did not say “open sesame” and then break down the door! Too often we think we have to help the process along. We must perform some ritual or make a sacrifice for the magic to happen when in reality, we need to just “let it be.”
Today, ask yourself “what am I trying to control?” Are there things you desire but are limiting them because you feel a need to break down doors or use a lasso to pull them to you? In the fantasy story, Ali Baba did not count his treasure, he measured it. How do you “measure” your treasure? Everything is energy; thus, the more energy we have the “richer” we are. Draw the energy to you by simply understanding how it works – like attracts like. Take time to clear your energy field of any low vibrations such as negative thoughts, worry, anxiety, etc. Fill your mind with powerful words and phrases, I Am affirmations, and gratitude. Know in your mind and heart that you are worthy of everything good and wonderful that you can dream of. Bob Proctor teaches us that “if you can see it in your mind, you will hold it in your hand.” Take that extra step today by feeling it in your heart that is already yours. That is the magic ingredient. Now go about your day with an “open sesame” mindset and let the magic begin! I love you!
I have reached the end of my sojourn that was a month-long process for me. I have visited family and friends, met many new friends and have been able to give real hugs to some friends who were only virtual friends before this trip. I have seen snow and beautiful countryside scenery and then entered into one of the most peaceful serene places on earth and immersed myself in its healing energy. I am not returning home as the same person I was when I left. So much has changed that it would be impossible to put it into words. It’s the is-ness experience to the fullest degree possible. “Is-ness” is living in the Now moment; choosing to surrender completely to what is happening. I consciously made it mine, allowing the unfolding of the event to be whatever it would “be” without the burden of my expectations. This does not mean that I had no desire concerning the outcome of the experience but my desire took a backseat to the flow of energy that happened with the experience. With every experience that happened on this journey, I allowed it without attachment to the outcome. I said “yes” to the is-ness. I let go of personal attachments easily and without regrets. It takes great courage to do this, to step out of your comfort zone; yet, I do not feel courageous. I feel empowered, spiritually expanded and physically renewed.
I feel I can now say yes to whatever is out there for me to experience. I have experienced being open to the flow of the “is-ness” and choosing to do so has transformed my entire life. This experience was made possible because of one person who believed in me, who wanted only the best possible outcome for my experience. Her love and support was given without personal agenda but rather with compassion and in response to urgings from her higher self and spirit guides. Many thanks to my dear friend Jeryl Anne. I know we have a lot of work to do together and I am super-excited for that!
How do I thank you for all you have done
For loving me unconditionally
For believing in me fully
How do I thank you for sharing life’s adventures with me?
Simply by loving me loving you – unconditionally
Facing personal demons is no fun, especially late at night or first thing when arising in the morning. It is my belief that life should be fun, should be enjoyed to its full extent and capability; thus, when buttons are pushed and tears flow it is time to reflect on that which has not been released from my human psyche or from a soul level. This verse from the poem Invictus is a go-to of mine:
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley
My decisions lead me to choices, i.e., actions, that not only affect me but those in my life and those in generations that will come after me. My life is not inconsequential. It does have meaning and value and just how much value it has depends on my own sense of self-worth. If I choose to give my power away and give in to feelings of unworthiness, that is on me. It is my choice alone, no one else’s. If I stand up for myself, using my authentic voice, that again is my choice alone. The voice of my father rings in my ears from so many years ago before his passing from this earth plane: “Never let anyone walk all over you.” Interpretation: Know your worth…set your boundaries.
I love you. Namaste
Close your eyes. Relax into whatever comes to you after the darkness. Wait in anticipation as if you were waiting for the beginning of a movie at the theater. Do you see the curtains opening? Do you hold an expectation of what image might show up or will you be pleasantly surprised? Wait for it. With your eyes closed and body relaxed, now you are ready. What is that word you hear? Follow it. Go into the sound of it, the way it is said, the possible meanings. When you shut out all other stimuli and let yourself receive, you enter a place where you can be you. Who are you? Let the word answer the question. Follow the sound, see the word written in front of you. Look at how it is written. Go to it and touch it, smell it, get to know it. This word that comes to you is your creation. Get to know it intimately. Did the darkness disappear as the word came into focus? Did your word light up that dark space you entered when you closed your eyes? This is how powerful you are, dear ones. You are creators. You have within you the means to bring light where there is none. You can bring joy into sad hearts. You can make a difference if you only close your eyes and find your way out of the darkness.